Captain's Log

Get. Off. Me. Already!

[Smoker shakes his leg, to which a yellow sparkly magby is clinging and cooing.]

Seriously. [A growl.] Get off. [NO SUCH LUCK. Smoker goes back to making chocolate ice cream and uses the magby's head to light a pair of cigars.]

Has anyone figured out how to deal with overly affectionate pokemon? This thing is freaking me out. I never should have named it after my boss.

And I'm making chocolate ice cream for Valentine's Day. Anyone want some extra? I bought a bit too much ingredients, I guess.

[Typically growly Smoker voice.]

All right this is the 7th time I've caught him out here. [Shows off the little psychotic bagon which keeps trying to scramble out of his grip and jump off the ledge of the lighthouse where they're precariously standing.]

Someone fill me in. Is it suicidal? Is that why he keeps slamming his head into the rocks?

[Exasperated growl.] Why do all my pokemon think they can fly? Ten's the only sensible one and he just tries to blend in with other rocks so that people will trip on him. Worse than my marines.

And that's saying something.

Next thing you know, Straw-Hat will try to copy him. [Grumbles quietly.] Maybe I should let them fall... [He won't really though. Probably.]

[Smoker is reacting to the snow a bit like the kids, save one change: He has FINALLY zipped up his jacket. Well, halfway. It's still obvious he doesn't feel like wearing a T-shirt. In any case, he's not bothered by the high-stacked snow, instead walking cheerfully (for Smoker) through it and carrying what appear to a bunch of shopping bags. Someone's got his Christmas shopping started. Out of seemingly nowhere a snowball hits him in the jaw, splattering over his face.]

STRAW-HAT!!! Santa's watching you little brat!

[Smoker is very clearly up some place high and from the looks of it, he and Kaz went tree climbing along Route 32. In the background you can just barely see the Sprout Tower in the far distance over the treetops. It appears they went up there to battle birds and get good at training against them. However, if you look closer, Smoker's down to his boxers and Justice!socks. Kazooie meanwhile is looking smug and hoarding all his clothes, particularly the jacket, though she's using his jeans for cushioning on the branch they're sitting on.]

Call 'em. [Growls and carefully lays out his cards. Yup, they're playing poker and Smoker is his losing his shirt. Literally. However at this, he also notices his pidgeotto flying about with the pokedex and gives it a flat stare before grabbing it out of flight and turning the video off.]

Sabo, Freckles, you two lost out there? [Not that he's worried. Never that.]

Looks like we're all stuck here for a while. Same to you idiot chef if you ever reach Violet. In the meanwhile I guess I'll keep my job here and look after the brats.

Maybe I'll train and battle Falks... whatever his name is. Anyone battle him yet and got advice?

Oh, and Ash, what level is Magikarp supposed to evolve at? Mine's still a fish. Tsk.

[The video shows Smoker looking grumpier than ever in a forest surrounded by trees with brightly colored ball-shaped acorns. Occasionally a few of them keep plunking him in the head, much to giggles of his traveling companions.]

These are much too hard to be berries. Even for monster berries. Can anyone tell me what the hell these are and what their purpose is supposed to be? [A rather large one whacks him directly in the back of the skull and he turns around and snarls.] AND WOULD YOU STOP THROWING THEM AT ME ALREADY!?